Back from the Grave
Kill for Love
Chromatics - Back Into The Grave
My alien opinion of doctor/patient relations when it comes to suicide.
and I can’t sleep. I can’t stop thinking about my cat. My beautiful, and yet rather tempestuous cat, Miuccia, died a few days ago. My parents skyped me and I knew something was up and before they could even blurt out the news, I knew exactly what had happened. My father, who is machismo spanish man, began to cry. I just sat there staring at my screen, speechless. Within a minute, I began to realize and process what had just happened and started to cry like I’ve never cried before. I went outside and cried for half an hour… I sat down in my bathroom and almost had convulsions from crying so much. I loved that cat with my heart. I wish she was still here. She was getting comfortable with walking ledges and I guess she was chasing some kinda of flying animal and slipped from the ledge out of my parents condo building. 9 stories. I cant even begin to think what she thought about for those less than 10 seconds. The most frightened feelings she has ever experienced. I was going to finish up here at Saba and pick her up in December to take her back to the states with me but thats not possible anymore. I use to love to go up to her and give her a 10 finger double scratch on her cheeks. She loved that. She would close her eyes and I could see her smile with droplets of saliva building at the corner of her mouth. As if, life cant get any better than this. Im here with the man who loves me, and I’m getting the best damn scratch ever. I’ve never had any good luck with guys and miuccia was always there for me. She knew me as a person too. She knew when I was happy and sad. I remember the day I got her. She could fit right into the cupped palms of hands. It’s my deep personal feeling that animals, domesitcated or whatever, can grow an attachment to a human being. Animal instincts translate well without having to speak a prescribed language. I remember the day I was heading to the airport back to Saba for 3rd. I went up to her and gave a half minute head scratch and told her how much I loved her. My parents would call me and tell me that she would go into my bedroom and sleep on my bed. I hate that shes not here anymore. I hope she went fast, with no pain. She only deserved the best and all I want for her was to be a happy cat. I hope she knew that. I hope she knew how much I loved her.